ORIGINAL POST

SAM-JULY 12-950PM
Kafi, Sam and I are at Children's Hospital in Los Angeles. Last night, just after midnight, Kafi and I went to Huntington Hospital in Pasadena because we thought we might have given Sam a little too much tylenol. We called the on-duty nurse and that person suggested we come in to get things checked out. We waited from 1 am to 5 pm to get seen and then for the results of Sam's blood test to come back. The doctor said there were problems with the blood and that it looked like it might be leukemia. He arranged for us to transfer to Children's Hospital (where they have a special children's leukemia ward). We have been here since 4pm. It's been a long day for Sam, not sleeping well, getting stuck with needles, getting IVs put in to him. The doctor came by this evening and said that most signs are pointing to leukemia, but that they would do a bone marrow biopsy in the morning and put in some catheter thing at the same time. They don't know when exactly Sam goes into the operating room. But not long after he does, we should know whether or not it's leukemia.

I don't really know how to pray. God has been good to me and my family my whole life. He's preserved us through difficult times, and he has redeemed deep pain. I don't know what He's up to. I'm sad, and I don't want my little boy to suffer. At the same time, if it's what the doctors think it is, it's a very treatable form of leukemia, one that could see him in full remission within two years. We'll know more tomorrow. Your prayers are appreciated. Kafi and I, along with Sam, are very tired. We spent an entire week sleeping sporadically, because he's had a fever all this time. We slept terribly last night. Kafi is six months pregnant, too - she needs her rest most.

UPDATE-JULY 13-1PM PST: Sam just went into the operating room. They will do the bone marrow biopsy and install a pics line. He'll be out in about an hour. In about four hours or so we'll have lab results back and will know definitively if it is leukemia. Thank you all for your support, love and prayers. Our families and friends are very near right now. It seems like Sam is receiving the best medical care imaginable, for which I am thankful. I just wish he didn't need it.

UPDATE-JULY 13-240PM PST: Sam is out of O.R. and back in his room. He's resting and watching "Toy Story." He looks fine, and the doc said the procedures went as planned. Sam wanted cheese sticks and chocolate milk, and we had that waiting for him when he arrived back in the room. While Sam was in surgery I kneeled down in a bathroom and prayed for a miraculous delivery. I don't know if that is God's will. But at least He knows what I'm asking.

UPDATE-JULY 13-10PM PST: We have heard back from the doctor. It's leukemia. We don't know the exact type. Tomorrow we will. Tomorrow morning Sam starts chemotherapy through a spinal tap. Kafi referenced the beginning of The Passion, which opens in the garden of gethsemane and Jesus praying that the cup would pass from him. That's how we feel. At the same time we have hope, and pray, that God will be powerfully glorified in this situation. Thank you for your prayers. What I've felt is the strength to be present at each point in the day. Sometimes I cry, immediately, for almost no reason. Other times I am happy and playful. Both are real. I want to feel both, share both, and with some great family and friends, I feel I've been able to do that. Now we've got a lot of regimentation, and paying attention, ahead of us. Someone comes into the room every couple of hours to do something: draw blood, give medicine, review something else. It doesn't end. We are still tired, feeling overwhelmed, and simultaneously encouraged. So odd, to feel so many things at once. I've been thinking about the Scripture that says, "when I am weak, he is strong." I feel weak. I need God's strength.

UPDATE-JULY 14-930AM PST: Sam is sleeping now. He had a spinal tap at 8am and his first dose of chemotherapy. Well, there's another item to strike off the list of "things i never expected to do" - hold my son during a spinal tap. Kafi's mom, Muslimah, flew in from New York last night. We got her into the room at 1230am, then the hospital staff graciously put me into a sleeper room where I actually got about 7 hours of sleep. So right now I feel better. Last night we read Psalm 34. I'm going to set my mind to continually worship the Lord. I've never been the type to just turn to a Scripture when I felt down (I'm more of the cognitive, pondering type) but I'm kind of getting into these Psalms now. Just like I'm starting to like my wife's worship music. Later today we hear about the precise type of leukemia that Sam has. Once we have the precise diagnosis, then it all starts. Until then, it's great to have my mother-in-law here, and I'm looking at Sam: he's sleeping peacefully. Please pray that my wife gets more rest and that her health is protected. We are both going through this. But I'm not the one carrying a six-month old baby.